Caroline Middlebrook and I Just Disagree
Written by: Don Miller
Posted on February 6, 2008
Filed Under Starting your Online Business
Recently I posted an article about Running a Home Based Business, Like a Business. I expressed some warnings and advice about maintaining a measure of structure to your day and warned against among other things, how easily ones business could slip into mediocrity. I’m not quite sure I expected the response and reaction when I posted the article. Meanwhile I became intrigued and moved by two individual posts about the state of bloggers in regard to differences of opinion. Monika Mundell at The Writers Manifesto Blog and RT Cunningham at Untwisted Vortex offered opinions and thoughts that I shared and how those differences often take on an ugly side. I had some views to express myself, but then the blogosphere provided me with an opportunity to explain how I think differences of opinion could be handled.
Caroline Middlebrook offered a different opinion about running a home based business. The article was well written and she brought some excellent points of view of her own into sharp detail. I want to go on record and say I have absolutely no issue with that. I didn’t suddenly become irate, angry or think of lashing out to her personally. Caroline Middlebrook is not my enemy and she will not be at the end of this post. I do however want to respond to her post, and respond to her I will. I will not react, and there is a difference.
Background
We obviously have a different world view on business, and truth be known, we probably differ on many other issues that we don’t know about yet. I was raised in Tampa, Florida and spent much of my time as a youngster in a racially mixed community of Ybor City. My mother worked rolling cigars in a factory there for 25 years. Long before the term single mother was popular my mother raised 3 children alone making thousands of cigars for a weekly salary of $65.00 . We were dirt poor and I didn’t know it until I was into my teen years. She would rise each morning at 3 AM , make my favorite breakfast , get the 3 of us ready for school and then she was off to the factory to work in a sweat box environment for 8 hours. She then picked the 3 of us up at my grandmothers house , cooked dinner , put us to bed and started the next day the same way. I do not recall my momma ever calling in sick, although I’m sure there were days she was. The point is she set a standard for me to follow. She always told me, life provided no free lunches , that we must work for what we receive. I tried to be the lazy kid of the family and she would have no part of it. After graduating high school she insisted I get a job and I did. I worked for $2.25 an hour at age 17. At age 18 I purchased my first home with my own money. At age 21 I opened my first business. My world view of business and work ethic was shaped by the most wonderful, hard working mother I have seen to date. I work hard at whatever I do, because my mother taught me that was the only way. It is who I am. She was right, and momma was always there. She is still my biggest fan. I wish she would get a computer though.
Caroline’s Post
Obviously Caroline doesn’t share my world view of business and work ethic or does she? In her post Caroline mentions that with freedom comes the need for discipline.
“Of course the trouble with all this freedom is that it is so easy to abuse it. Just last week I had a couple of days where I had nothing planned and I had intended to work really hard those two days. I was going to write a load of blog posts, do some more marketing for my ebook, catch up on some courses I am working through and so on. On the first day I got to about 4pm having done pretty much bugger all and wondered where on earth the day went! The next day was pretty much the same!”
That is exactly my point. For many new or first time business owners that freedom can be overwhelming. It is easy to slip into a complacent frame of mind, particularly when you have the success that Caroline has had generating traffic and a following to her site. Her Commenting Strategy Article caught the attention of many of the big blogs and set an exciting pace for new site visitors. Her series on Twitter exploded with popularity. Her business was on a roll. Caroline was an active commenter on many blogs and always offered well crafted responses to post she deemed worthy. She even commented on my site from time to time. She seemingly pumped out article after article, all of which increased her popularity. I doubt she would tell you it wasn’t hard work. She goes on to say at one time she was organized “For the first few weeks in business I worked extremely hard and I tracked all my hours diligently” But life has a way of changing things.
The Significant Emotional Event
There is nothing quite like losing a loved one, a spouse, for some a job, to change the way a person prioritizes their lives. Caroline spoke to this in a soul bearing article in December. Her readers responded with words encouragement, suggestions and perhaps some guidance. I was one of them. So how would I know about these Significant Emotional Events? I have had one myself. My wife of 28 years became a intravenous drug user while working as a Registered Nurse. We have been separated for 3 years now and my life and the outlook I take are drastically different. I no longer desire all the bells and whistles life has to offer. I have been there and done that. Recovering from such events is a painstaking process, sometimes taking years to recover from. Caroline by her own admission states “Since then, I have been unable to get back into my previous groove and to be honest, I have absolutely no desire to do so” Perhaps within that statement lies the difference of our opinions. Caroline says there are more important things in life than work. Yes there are Caroline and sometimes the tools that life uses to remove the rust from around our perspectives are rough, but I’m pulling for you .
Working Smarter Not Harder
I’m not sure who coined that phrase but I think Caroline and I agree on this point. When I say I work hard, it is a labor of love. I have never enjoyed working so hard as I do for my home based business. It is not really hard work for me. I read recently where Yaro said it takes consistent work to achieve results. I agree with that. My mind is normally in overdrive planning my work and working my plan. Lost time for me, is lost potential. I set deadlines for myself as a means for motivation Today my work is complete. I will spend the day in Orlando, have a nice expensive dinner, enjoy the sites that Disneyworld provides and get back at it tomorrow. I did say we need to reward ourselves too, didn’t I?
Conclusions
Will Caroline Middlebrook change to my way of thinking? Not likely. She says she is happy with her business and the progress she is making. Caroline will do it her way. Will Don Miller stop speaking of the need to work your home based business like a business. Yes that day will come, when I draw my last breath. Hard work got to where i am and it is hard work that will keep me there. It’s who I am and I like who I am. Caroline has goals, I’m sure of it. I have goals, how we attain them may be different. After all it’s just a difference of opinion.
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Tags:attitude, business, home based business, marketing
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11 Responses to “Caroline Middlebrook and I Just Disagree”
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Caroline Middlebrook and I Just Disagree…
I actually never thought my article would get the reaction it did, 30 or so stumblers seemed to enjoy it. Caroline Middlebrook had a different opinion and that all good, but i felt a need to respond, Runing a home based business like a business is stil…
You know Don I don’t think we actually differ that much. There is increible value in the virtue of hard work - it is one of those qualities that separates life’s winners and losers. I have had several businesses and I have always worked hard. Look through any of the classic books on success such as Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” and you’ll see it mentioned again and again.
One thing that has changed for me recently other than my emotional crisis is that I have discovered something called the Law of Attraction and since then I realise that I can have all the things I want in life and work does not have to be the center piece around which everything else revolves.
If you think of traditional western lifestyles - most people go to work for the majority of the day for the majority of the week. Work takes up the bulk of our waking hours and then we have to fit in all the other stuff like family, friends, leisure time around work. We have to schedule vacations into time off work, we visit friends at weekends and so on. That is the system that I am rebelling against, not the value of work itself!
As far as the Law of Attraction goes, if you believe that to be successful you have to work long hours, then that is the reality that will manifest for you. This is something that I believed for years and sure enough, when I worked long hours either in my own business or when employed I seemed to do better. Now my perspective has shifted. I now believe that I can work dilligently for perhaps 20-30 hours a week, be very successful and have everything I want in life. So far, it’s all coming together…
When I read the story of your mother it made me very sad and I wonder how many other people lead lives like that or something like it in modern societies. My new partner for instance works very hard, has raised a child on her own for several years and has always struggled for money - it has always been like that for her but I am hoping that I can show her that there can be a better way. We’ll see…
Hi Don,
I’m not sure I’d like to comment because I don’t want to get tangled up with feelings about your mother and loyalty to her.
Perhaps I shoul say that I subscribe to both your and Caroline’s blogs and enjoy them both.
I’m sure you do both agree on work smarter not harder.
More importantly though you are both honest and free of hype. In this there is much agreement - and for me is more important the disagreements about workstyle.
You have to love hard working mums. Mine is the same, though not quite as hard working as yours since she only had me, not three kids.
However my mother had a different effect on me - instead of inspiring me to work hard (in her case, for other people), I used her example to show me exactly what I didn’t want - complete lack of freedom due to financial circumstances.
I knew I had to be my own boss to avoid the same fate as my mother’s working life.
Although I should note my mother loves to work - she would be totally lost without doing something.
By the way - I just finished a case study video including your blog today for the Blog Mastermind members. I should have it out tomorrow. I’m not sure how much it will help you - I think you are on top of things here, but you can let me know.
Cheers - Yaro.
Great article Don and although I haven’t had a chance to read Caroline’s or any other articles mentioned I have to say - story of your mother and Your personal upbringing ringing a bell louder then anything else.
Even though I was raised in different country poverty and work ethics you describe for yourself is something I can relate to very easily. I guess this is where good American saying comes true:
“When going gets tough, tough gets going” or something to that effect. Sorry, didn’t have time to check it for correctness but you get the idea
Great post!
Don, your post clearly reflects how we as bloggers can be of different opinion and yet still act civilized.
I commend you for this as it shows that respect can and does work without bashing each others heads in.
Great post and BTW, I do agree with you on the discipline bit.
Caroline, I knew we agreed on some things, I sincerely believe your circumstances have changed your focus and priorities, nothing wrong with that. We all get ours realigned form time to time. Thanks for the comment, I’m sure we will “bump” into each other soon.
Evan: My mother is 72 years old (I think ) and wears her work ethic like a badge of honor , no worries
Yaro: Your generation was taught much different than mine, and I assure you our mothers were different in their teaching methods, look forward to the video review.
Alex:at some level we are all products of our environments, my focus has always been to work hard so that my children would not have to experience the things I did, they are grown now and they didn’t
Monika, my way certainly isn’t the only way and surely not the most popular or dramatic, and it may never attract the crowd, but I cant be any other way. It would make it very difficult for me to sleep each night,and there is something to be said for good sleep :0
Hey Don!!
Ultimately I think what it all boils down to is Having clearly defined goals and a life style that matches those goals. When I am building homes my goals are pre-determined for me by the contractor and client ie move in date is 6 months from now!! SO I know what I have to do in what time period, whether I feel like it or not, it has to be done !! When I am doing my online business work. I am the master of what happens and what doesnt. The difference being is that I have a kid and a girlfriend. SO the time constraints are actually tighter. I need to balance both. Notice I said balance. Balance also comes with boundaries. When I am working at the puter my g/f knows not to interrupt for the hours or two i need. And I know I have a short time period to get as much done as I can. So I focus on getting what I needed done, DONE. Always focus on DONES (i call them that), not almost dones or half dones. But full complete dones. you wouldnt post half a post, thats not what readers are coming to see. You need to exchange with them for their time a complete and valuable product. Something they can say is worth their time and has made a difference , added to their life and time spent on your blog.
How’s it going. Oddly enough I agree with both of you. and think the both of you bring good points to the table. When I am not blogging full time I am building custom homes, and believe me there are days when I just don’t “feel like it” as much as I do enjoy it. Some days I just don’t want to. Theres something to be said from stepping away from what you’re doing for a day. Frees up the mental machinery and gets the inspiration going again. Know what I mean. And other day when I dont feel like but know I have to. I just tell myself “shane get your body in motion” which overrides the desire to do nothing for the day.
But in the end we all have different life paths. What works for me isn’t going to work for you.
Great topic !!! Don
ps fellow blog mastermind student here. I watch yaros review of your site just this morning. and I see you often at Carolines blog and other blogs around town.
Keep up the great stuff
Shane
[...] Caroline Middlebrook and I Just Disagree @ Making Sales Making Money [...]
[...] Sometimes I wonder why we make things harder than they have to be. Lets be honest. If I’m not mistaken you took some of your time today to read a blog or two or ten. I know I did. I ran across a post from Caroline Middlebrook today about Making Money Blogging by Selling Your Knowledge. At first blush I thought I read the title wrong. After reading it I thought , hallelujah, we agree. That’s not always been the case. [...]
Don, what a thoughtful and touching article. I learned a lot about you through this article. I learned you are a skillful writer and a thoughtful person. As I try to make money from home through niche websites, I am often overwhelmed by sheer number of choices and can get easily distracted by details. I am learning to focus more, worry less, and keep putting in ORGANIZED hours daily. I will reach my financial goals, it is only a matter of time, for I am convinced I have found reliable information on the HOWS of doing it. It is just a matter of crafting all the research results into a workable system of daily tasks for myself. I sit down each day with joy and hope to accomplish my tasks. I would rather be working from home, quietly, making money behind the scenes, than any other way of making money. It takes discipline and seasoned decision-making skills. This is one area where my age is a benefit.