About Confidence – Steps To Boost
Written by: Monika Mundell
Posted on May 4, 2008
Filed Under Ramblings
Being confident is an attribute many of us lack. Some people are over confident in whatever they do which could easily be seen as bordering on arrogant, while others are ever afraid of taking pro-active measures and the more they hesitate, the lower their confidence level sinks.
While I might come across a very confident writer, I can tell you this. I am. The thing is, that when we feel good about what we do, then confidence comes naturally. We are filled with euphoria and when we feel good, we also feel confident.
But like you, I don’t feel confident at everything I do. As a matter of fact I have days when I can’t step outside the door because I’m afraid to see people. I guess some would call this a panic attack. Admittedly it isn’t as bad as it used to be years ago and today I can recognize the symptoms when they present themselves.
I’ve also stopped to stress about it and just stay home and ride the moment out. So you can see, we all struggle with our own demons inside.
Lucky for me I do work from home so when a panic attack strikes I’m not pressured to go out at all. I just send my husband instead. LOL.
But for some of you, this isn’t so easy and when you are stuck in a situation and you have absolute no confidence, it can quickly turn into a nightmare instead.
You probably wonder whether there is anything you can do to avoid situations like these?
I’d like to think there are and will go into possible solutions below:
Possible solutions to gain more confidence
Don’t get sucked into situations you don’t want to be in. You’ve probably had your fair share of times when you were invited to a party, only to end up standing all by yourself in some forgotten corner.
How did that make you feel? I guess pretty rotten and your confidence level at the time would have been pretty lowly. On the other end of the spectrum if you were the center of attention, you would have felt on top of the world and joked with everything that had legs (even if you didn’t knew them).
Solution: Unless you really want to do something, don’t. Even if it means you have to say no.
Our jobs can often be the worst places top fall prey to bullies. A bully can make you feel pretty shitty and ruin your whole life, as everything centers around him at the time.
Then more we try to beat him at his own game, the more power he holds over us. Think about this: a bully bullies because of the power kick. If you act like you care he will get off on that and keep pushing your buttons until….
Solution: On the other hand, if you ignore him and pretend you don’t care for his antics he will lose his wind and eventually give up or look for a new target.
I was subject to a bully for years at one of my jobs. The more I tried to prove myself as a hard worker (being a woman and all) the more he bullied me and made me feel like shit. My self esteem took a huge dive and I went into major depression. Only when I realized that I had actually given him the power to do so did I click and stop giving him the power he needed to fuel his bullying.
From that moment onwards he couldn’t touch me anymore (mentally speaking).
I met him the other day in the shopping center.
It made my day, since I felt some sort of sweet revenge. At 50 something he is still stuck in the same crappy job, spinning and stressing over work. Clearly he is unhappy and knowing that I didn’t have to deal with the pressures of working as a galley slave anymore it made me feel pretty damn good.
Last but not least, confidence is a by product of passion and happiness. If we are happy with our lives and love what we do, we are confident. If we lack this and are constantly finding ourselves complaining, worrying and being scared, it is time to take pro-active action.
Solution: It is high time for a major change – one step at the time.
It will do wonders for your confidence.
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Tags:being confident, being more confident, confidence, confidence booster, having confidence, how to gain confidence, lack of confidence
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About Confidence – Steps To Boost…
Confidence. Are you confident. Are you confident about what you do? Your work? Your personal life? Most of us are confident about some things , yet we seem paralyzed by other things. It really is a learning process. Monika offers a few tips to overcome…
Hi Monika, recently I got some of my subscribers unsubscribe. It’s really demotivating. I contacted them for any feedback, without any response. I guess I have to carry on and get back with the confidence.
Thanks for this message!
Robert
@ Robert: Please don’t take this personally. Bloggers subscribe and unsubscribe from blogs all the time. It is more obvious when the blog is smaller and newer and less so once you have enough subscribers.
You got the right idea. Move on and don’t worry about it. I felt the same when I was new in the game and have since learned that it has nothing to do with me as a blogger.
Take care and please shout if you feel desolate. We’ll peck you up again.
Just found your blog earlier today. I just wanted to say…
I LOVE the fact that you give me an estimate on how long it will take me to read the article. Just don’t ever write a REALLY long post…like an “Average reading time: 20 minutes”. I wont click on it. lol Just kidding – but I really like how you have that.
Scott ,your welcome buddy, its a cool little plug-in I found one day , if you want it let me know Ill send it to you
Don
Confidence, the foundation of success in everything.
Faith, belief, self confidence can all be summed up in one word Confidence. Part of confidence is to expect challenges and stumbling blocks but at the same time be sure that these shall be overcome.